Yesterday I walk into my office and a very pretty face beams
at me, putting up two mehendied hands for me to see.
Wow! I say, they look lovely! When did you get them so
decorated? I ask Prachita, my colleague, who is an engineer and also a
marketing expert in my organization.
“Yesterday was Karva
Chauth, na?” She smiles.
“But isn’t your man in the US now?” I ask.
“Yes, we broke the fast together over Skype.” She explains.
 |
| Karwa Chauth Mehendi on hands (Source: Internet) |
***********
A few days ago, recovering from the afterglow of the Pujas, I had written an article on Sindoor Khela (the annual vermilion bash of married Bengali women, when they say goodbye to the Goddess Durga). Expressing my thought that any compulsory sign a woman is forced to carry of her marital status signifies subversion of her identity as a human being. Having said that, I also wrote that wearing or not wearing any such sign is completely a matter of personal choice and if I am willing to gun down a woman for wanting to flaunt her sindoor, I am just the other face of the dictatorial patriarchal coin. Or maybe just as bad a matriarchal battle post!
A lot of interesting debate took place on my article as I sat reading impressive academic stands on the usage of “sindoor”. And given the fact that I have some highly capable friends, many of whom teach in esteemed universities, or practice in international hospitals, their arguments were far from being just empty anger against tradition or even its opposite – blind faith in any convention. As always, I gained a lot of knowledge from just reading their comments and was sad when everyone went home at the end of it.
This week, when some of my friends celebrated Karva Chauth, I was intrigued to find out the origin of the ritual – slammed down by imperious feminists for being anti-women. Really? I asked myself.
If Karva Chauth was that bent on bringing women down, why was my globetrotter friend Sutapa Agrawal posting pictures of her pretty face behind a sieve? Why was my school senior Reshmi di, a writer and a woman of great substance, all dressed up and posting KC party pictures with her beautiful and accomplished girl-friends? Surely there was something that made all these enlightened women happy about KC? And happy they all were – though all of them are perfectly capable of seeing through any vicious scheme behind any ritual designed to bring their kind down.
I was eager to find out. And here is what I found.
Karva Chauth is a one-day festival celebrated by Hindu women in North India and Gujarat in which married women fast from sunrise to moon-rise for the safety and longevity of their husbands. Sometimes, unmarried women observe the fast for their fiancés or would-be husbands. (Remember Kajol in Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge? Ah, the romance of it!)
Karva is another word for 'pot' (a small earthen pot of water) and chauth means 'fourth' in Hindi (the festival falls on the fourth day of the dark-fortnight, of the month of Kartik). There is no strict consensus on the origin of the ritual. I found out the following likely reasons behind it:
1. Around end October many of the mighty rivers in the Northern part of India dry up after the deluge of monsoons gets over. Military campaigns and long distance tours being impossible during the rains, it was only at this time that men of the households would venture away from home in search of livelihood . And women/beloveds/fiances, who would stay back home for months on end waiting for their men would observe the ritual to pray for their safe return home. Sweet, is it not?
2. The north of India is predominantly wheat eating. Being the largest consumer of wheat, north India is also the largest producer of wheat. Karwa Chauth overlaps with the onset of the Rabi crop cycle in India, when farmers would plant wheat in the fields. Big earthen pots (Karvas) would store the wheat and women would fast in their homes (since the men would work out in the fields in the sun and couldn’t go without food through the day) to pray for a good harvest. Still don’t see anything demeaning to women in here!
3. The interesting bit comes now and is my favorite. Earlier, teenage girls got married and went miles away from home to live with their in-laws in remote villages. Telephone/email/Facebook had not yet arrived. Venting out ineffectual anger on status updates were still not the vogue. To make the new bride feel at home, a cute custom of befriending another woman, usually a bride from the same village, but not related to the in-laws family, as kangan-saheli (bangle-girlfriend) or dharma-behn (god-sister) was started. (Cool that they actually thought about young brides in those days so much!) This relationship between girlfriends was sanctified in a small ceremony and they would confide in each other in all matters of the heart. Karva Chauth started as a festival to celebrate this special bond of friendship between the brides and their god-friends. They would dress up together and have fun at the ritual and look at the moon together, while not having to work the whole day. The notion of praying and fasting for the husband came much later and is secondary. However, the husbands would anyway play a role in the ritual, because it was only after getting married the brides would be able to carry the frolic out. So the girls would celebrate their husbands thankfully for bringing the blessing of a new girlfriend in their lives. They would buy news Karvas (clay pots), handpaint them and put girly items like bangles, ribbons, henna and shringar (cosmetics) inside before exchanging the pots.
4. There are mythological origins to the festival too. There is a story of queen Veervati and how she lost her husband being tricked by her brothers to break her fast, etc. And there is this story about Draupadi, who was advised by Krishna, her sakha to do a Karva Chauth for the safe return of Arjuna. Indeed there is a lot of power given to women, who can either end or bring back their dead husbands’ lives by undergoing a simple fast. Don’t you think?
Well, so much for the origins. Now, how is the custom observed in current times?
Today, a typical Karva Chauth day begins with the mother in law making sargi (early morning meal) for the bride, and all the bride ever does on Karva Chauth is eat her fill of that meal and relax through the day waiting to dress up and have fun with her girlfriends in the evening. Newer versions of the ritual don’t even include a fast! Women eat vegetarian food through the day. Some eat chocolates and drink Horlicks! Also, with the monsoon harvests being over, there is no dearth of homemade sweets and treats to gorge on. Masti unlimited, what say?
Happily, no one believes that fasting will actually enhance the span of lives. I asked a male friend, Ashwin, if he would fast for his wife on Karva Chauth. He said:
“Of course, not. I don’t believe fasting for anyone will elongate their lives. Most of the time, I am fasting anyways, because when our cook doesn’t show up, I don’t get to eat. My wife will much on cereals and nuts, as she doesn’t know how to cook. I don’t like to eat dry food. But she will remember to ask for an expensive gift on Karva Chauth, as a prize for a half day fast. I oblige because I love her and it touches my heart to see her take so much pain of going without eating for so much of an hour!.”
Media and advertising campaigns have also a lot to contribute in bringing KC in global focus driving millions of bucks around this one festival urging men to buy some of the costliest of gifts for their “fasting-feasting” and pampered wives. So in an interesting twist of presentation, the festival becomes an oriental version of Valentine’s Day – and truly, the essence of both KC and Valentine’s Day is the same – celebrating love and togetherness for a day, when the rest of the year, couples are too busy with careers, housework or childcare to “demonstrate” their love for each other.
Relationships are changing every day. To complicate matters, we have the stern gaze of feminists at every corner waiting to swoop in and make a fresh meal out of every tradition. Without waving their angry baton at each and every bit of legacy that we have, where is their raison d'être? I have friends who work in NGOs to help under privileged women. I don’t see them charading on Facebook attacking feminine rituals ever. But then the world is full of angry young women.
Now to allay this existential crisis for these self styled feminists, I ask a question: if women fasting, depriving their bodies of nutrition through days to lose pounds of fat (which is medically totally unscientific I tell you!) can be a matter of choice, why can’t a woman's one-day fast for the long life of her husband (also unscientific!) be equally a matter of choice? You think this KC is an evil because it is forced on women? Well then, do women get married forcibly? Some yes, but not all. If marriage is an institution of choice by now, why can’t any ritual associated with marriage be the same?
And since nothing in India goes without the pop whiff of Bollywood in it, let me also point out a contradiction in how we perceive our women in films. Hindi mainstream films have over the reels, romanticized the character of a love smitten heroine fasting for her would-be/actual husband (mind it, a guy she has chosen for herself against her parent’s express wishes), who incidentally also fasts for her. So the same canvas or screen that shows the heroine choosing her man in act of rebellion also shows her fasting for the same man. How does the first act become an exercise of choice and the second a convoluted social construct to nullify all her freedom?
In our post-modernist milieu, when women are taking great strides in every male-dominated bastion, is it not foolish to assume that they don’t know their mind yet and are just being coerced to follow a meaningless ceremony?
Karva Chauth may be sniggered upon by many, but that does not take away the socio-cultural dynamics of it. Once restricted to the north, it has now taken over the entire nation as a festival of bonhomie among women. I used to raise cynical eyebrows at Bongs for throwing Sangeet and Mehendi parties before their marriages. No longer. I understand how rituals pervade geographical boundaries and enrich each other. And it is interesting to watch a similar evolution of KC across the years too.
My understanding of Karva Chauth is limited still, but I understand this that respecting women has got nothing to do with bashing up an ancient custom. As long as it doesn’t hurt or harm anyone, and acts as a great enabler of a community coming together for innocent fun – however frivolous the excuse maybe, I am willing to give it my nod of approval. Sometimes some people would revolt without a cause and the contradictions pointed out by them around “sindoor khela” and “Karva Chauth” are more apparent than real.
Apurva Purohit, CEO of Radio City 91.1FM and an IIM Bangalore alumnus says:
“No mother-in-law, no relatives and certainly not society, need have a point of view on this decision. It’s got nothing whatsoever to do with anyone! Including so called modern day feminists who suddenly decide to write articles on the retrograde nature of the fast and snigger at women who are following this tradition. To my mind they are being just as judgmental and censorious and quite as intrusive as the mother-in-law who forces her daughter-in-law to keep the fast! The burden of tradition bound expectations is just as onerous as the mantle that gets forced on us to be contemporary ‘with it’ women who scoff at all things that our mothers did!
And frankly why should anyone have anything to say about a subject which is essentially between me, my husband and the moon? Right?”
Right, I say. Let the choice remain with the women.
A lot of interesting debate took place on my article as I sat reading impressive academic stands on the usage of “sindoor”. And given the fact that I have some highly capable friends, many of whom teach in esteemed universities, or practice in international hospitals, their arguments were far from being just empty anger against tradition or even its opposite – blind faith in any convention. As always, I gained a lot of knowledge from just reading their comments and was sad when everyone went home at the end of it.
This week, when some of my friends celebrated Karva Chauth, I was intrigued to find out the origin of the ritual – slammed down by imperious feminists for being anti-women. Really? I asked myself.
If Karva Chauth was that bent on bringing women down, why was my globetrotter friend Sutapa Agrawal posting pictures of her pretty face behind a sieve? Why was my school senior Reshmi di, a writer and a woman of great substance, all dressed up and posting KC party pictures with her beautiful and accomplished girl-friends? Surely there was something that made all these enlightened women happy about KC? And happy they all were – though all of them are perfectly capable of seeing through any vicious scheme behind any ritual designed to bring their kind down.
I was eager to find out. And here is what I found.
Karva Chauth is a one-day festival celebrated by Hindu women in North India and Gujarat in which married women fast from sunrise to moon-rise for the safety and longevity of their husbands. Sometimes, unmarried women observe the fast for their fiancés or would-be husbands. (Remember Kajol in Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge? Ah, the romance of it!)
Karva is another word for 'pot' (a small earthen pot of water) and chauth means 'fourth' in Hindi (the festival falls on the fourth day of the dark-fortnight, of the month of Kartik). There is no strict consensus on the origin of the ritual. I found out the following likely reasons behind it:
1. Around end October many of the mighty rivers in the Northern part of India dry up after the deluge of monsoons gets over. Military campaigns and long distance tours being impossible during the rains, it was only at this time that men of the households would venture away from home in search of livelihood . And women/beloveds/fiances, who would stay back home for months on end waiting for their men would observe the ritual to pray for their safe return home. Sweet, is it not?
2. The north of India is predominantly wheat eating. Being the largest consumer of wheat, north India is also the largest producer of wheat. Karwa Chauth overlaps with the onset of the Rabi crop cycle in India, when farmers would plant wheat in the fields. Big earthen pots (Karvas) would store the wheat and women would fast in their homes (since the men would work out in the fields in the sun and couldn’t go without food through the day) to pray for a good harvest. Still don’t see anything demeaning to women in here!
3. The interesting bit comes now and is my favorite. Earlier, teenage girls got married and went miles away from home to live with their in-laws in remote villages. Telephone/email/Facebook had not yet arrived. Venting out ineffectual anger on status updates were still not the vogue. To make the new bride feel at home, a cute custom of befriending another woman, usually a bride from the same village, but not related to the in-laws family, as kangan-saheli (bangle-girlfriend) or dharma-behn (god-sister) was started. (Cool that they actually thought about young brides in those days so much!) This relationship between girlfriends was sanctified in a small ceremony and they would confide in each other in all matters of the heart. Karva Chauth started as a festival to celebrate this special bond of friendship between the brides and their god-friends. They would dress up together and have fun at the ritual and look at the moon together, while not having to work the whole day. The notion of praying and fasting for the husband came much later and is secondary. However, the husbands would anyway play a role in the ritual, because it was only after getting married the brides would be able to carry the frolic out. So the girls would celebrate their husbands thankfully for bringing the blessing of a new girlfriend in their lives. They would buy news Karvas (clay pots), handpaint them and put girly items like bangles, ribbons, henna and shringar (cosmetics) inside before exchanging the pots.
4. There are mythological origins to the festival too. There is a story of queen Veervati and how she lost her husband being tricked by her brothers to break her fast, etc. And there is this story about Draupadi, who was advised by Krishna, her sakha to do a Karva Chauth for the safe return of Arjuna. Indeed there is a lot of power given to women, who can either end or bring back their dead husbands’ lives by undergoing a simple fast. Don’t you think?
Well, so much for the origins. Now, how is the custom observed in current times?
 |
| Women celebrating Karva Chauth together (Source: Internet) |
Today, a typical Karva Chauth day begins with the mother in law making sargi (early morning meal) for the bride, and all the bride ever does on Karva Chauth is eat her fill of that meal and relax through the day waiting to dress up and have fun with her girlfriends in the evening. Newer versions of the ritual don’t even include a fast! Women eat vegetarian food through the day. Some eat chocolates and drink Horlicks! Also, with the monsoon harvests being over, there is no dearth of homemade sweets and treats to gorge on. Masti unlimited, what say?
Happily, no one believes that fasting will actually enhance the span of lives. I asked a male friend, Ashwin, if he would fast for his wife on Karva Chauth. He said:
“Of course, not. I don’t believe fasting for anyone will elongate their lives. Most of the time, I am fasting anyways, because when our cook doesn’t show up, I don’t get to eat. My wife will much on cereals and nuts, as she doesn’t know how to cook. I don’t like to eat dry food. But she will remember to ask for an expensive gift on Karva Chauth, as a prize for a half day fast. I oblige because I love her and it touches my heart to see her take so much pain of going without eating for so much of an hour!.”
Media and advertising campaigns have also a lot to contribute in bringing KC in global focus driving millions of bucks around this one festival urging men to buy some of the costliest of gifts for their “fasting-feasting” and pampered wives. So in an interesting twist of presentation, the festival becomes an oriental version of Valentine’s Day – and truly, the essence of both KC and Valentine’s Day is the same – celebrating love and togetherness for a day, when the rest of the year, couples are too busy with careers, housework or childcare to “demonstrate” their love for each other.
Relationships are changing every day. To complicate matters, we have the stern gaze of feminists at every corner waiting to swoop in and make a fresh meal out of every tradition. Without waving their angry baton at each and every bit of legacy that we have, where is their raison d'être? I have friends who work in NGOs to help under privileged women. I don’t see them charading on Facebook attacking feminine rituals ever. But then the world is full of angry young women.
Now to allay this existential crisis for these self styled feminists, I ask a question: if women fasting, depriving their bodies of nutrition through days to lose pounds of fat (which is medically totally unscientific I tell you!) can be a matter of choice, why can’t a woman's one-day fast for the long life of her husband (also unscientific!) be equally a matter of choice? You think this KC is an evil because it is forced on women? Well then, do women get married forcibly? Some yes, but not all. If marriage is an institution of choice by now, why can’t any ritual associated with marriage be the same?
And since nothing in India goes without the pop whiff of Bollywood in it, let me also point out a contradiction in how we perceive our women in films. Hindi mainstream films have over the reels, romanticized the character of a love smitten heroine fasting for her would-be/actual husband (mind it, a guy she has chosen for herself against her parent’s express wishes), who incidentally also fasts for her. So the same canvas or screen that shows the heroine choosing her man in act of rebellion also shows her fasting for the same man. How does the first act become an exercise of choice and the second a convoluted social construct to nullify all her freedom?
In our post-modernist milieu, when women are taking great strides in every male-dominated bastion, is it not foolish to assume that they don’t know their mind yet and are just being coerced to follow a meaningless ceremony?
Karva Chauth may be sniggered upon by many, but that does not take away the socio-cultural dynamics of it. Once restricted to the north, it has now taken over the entire nation as a festival of bonhomie among women. I used to raise cynical eyebrows at Bongs for throwing Sangeet and Mehendi parties before their marriages. No longer. I understand how rituals pervade geographical boundaries and enrich each other. And it is interesting to watch a similar evolution of KC across the years too.
My understanding of Karva Chauth is limited still, but I understand this that respecting women has got nothing to do with bashing up an ancient custom. As long as it doesn’t hurt or harm anyone, and acts as a great enabler of a community coming together for innocent fun – however frivolous the excuse maybe, I am willing to give it my nod of approval. Sometimes some people would revolt without a cause and the contradictions pointed out by them around “sindoor khela” and “Karva Chauth” are more apparent than real.
Apurva Purohit, CEO of Radio City 91.1FM and an IIM Bangalore alumnus says:
“No mother-in-law, no relatives and certainly not society, need have a point of view on this decision. It’s got nothing whatsoever to do with anyone! Including so called modern day feminists who suddenly decide to write articles on the retrograde nature of the fast and snigger at women who are following this tradition. To my mind they are being just as judgmental and censorious and quite as intrusive as the mother-in-law who forces her daughter-in-law to keep the fast! The burden of tradition bound expectations is just as onerous as the mantle that gets forced on us to be contemporary ‘with it’ women who scoff at all things that our mothers did!
And frankly why should anyone have anything to say about a subject which is essentially between me, my husband and the moon? Right?”
Right, I say. Let the choice remain with the women.
 |
| Women celebrating KC in Kolkata. (Source: The Hindu) |
A wonderful take on Karwa Chauth, which has been bashed by the neo-feminists in India. A new trend of modernism (and feminism) is to rebuke anything traditional as retrograde and anti-women. Steeped in traditions and rituals, we often forget that in India what we term as religion is just a way of life which is nothing but a bunch of secular social (and cultural too, if you would like to add) acts which had evolved over time without any prejudice or agenda. Waking up in the morning and getting awed by the charm of the red ball that evicts the darkness night after night, without fail, is no way a religious act. So reciting the Gayatri Mantra in the morning has nothing to do with being a Hindu. Interestingly the very term 'Hindu' is nothing but a geographical connotation or designation to the people of the land of the Sindhu. So if being Hindu has nothing to do with religion, what is the fuss about the Hindu rituals?
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sudipto.
DeleteSo nice writing............Everlasting Love for Husband........... Would it be possible from Husband side?
ReplyDeleteThough its truly a matter of entirely personal choice i consider the ritual.as a KC as sujugative to feminity and is really something which is "required"to prolong the life of one's male partner,more so because its not a reciprocal act. I hv known women,who have been at the receiving end of their husbands'torture in tumultous marriages,still going through the grind if going through it merely to satisfy their in-laws and spouses. Am quick to iterate that this is pertinent to all.marriages. But i find that a much better way of wishing for one's longevity is praying to.the Almighty or the Creator because ultimately.its all.in his hands! Surely i would not dissuade a willing woman to abstain from it but i am very much against the principle as there is no scientific or medical logic behind the act. I cannot confuse it with "sindoor-khela"for reasons apparent. Am neither a feminist (if unever think of it)or in the neo-variety mould but i find that its an unnecessary thing in the first place and cant safeguard anything other than deep-rooted beliefs .
ReplyDeleteCorrections. ..pl read....not really something which is "required". ....not pertinent...... grind of....
ReplyDelete